by Maarten Declercq on November 30, 2009
The things that I am going to say in this post are nothing new. But still, it is extremely difficult to practice and to master. I am talking about asking for feedback and handling that feedback.
I try to make it a habit to ask people for feedback. This can be about any kind of situation. This can be from anyone ranging from a loose acquaintance to a very close friend. The insights that are there for you to capture are immense. In the end it is all about what is in the eye of the beholder and that what feedback is all about. What impression do you give to other people? When you have crossed the hurdle to ask someone for feedback then comes the even tougher task of accepting that feedback and acting upon it. Don’t start saying “No, that’s not correct because…” or “No, but…”. Come on, just say “Thank you” and then just shut up. In what follows you should try to incorporate that advice in your daily behavior.
Another thing you will notice is that people really appreciate it when you ask them about feedback. Certainly you are willing to really listen to them and make a commitment to try to act on their advice. In a way feedback can become infectious when people are more then willing to cooperate what you.
Bottom line: Go ahead and ask for feedback
by Maarten Declercq on November 27, 2009
Why leadership development does not thrive in a big bureaucratic organization remains a point of discussion. But it is true that for instance in hospitals or the taxes agency the necessity for a leader is smaller. The better everything is structured and the more professional the environment, the smaller the chance for a leader to make a difference. In circumstances with urgency – disasters – leaders will stand up.
Bottom line: What will you do when disaster strikes?
by Maarten Declercq on November 9, 2009
When you think of Timbuktu you think about a far-away place. About a place that is completely unknown to you. That is what Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries talks about in his book the leadership mystique. He describes the impact such an experience has on your development.
Someone who has not only tested the waters but also really has submerged himself in an environment without references undergoes a transforming process. This person is confronted with the nature of his own personality in a very profound way. In the article “Why should anyone be led by you?: what it takes to be an authentic leader” by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones, they boldly state that a leader should know himself!
In my opinion a Timbuktu experience does just that. Self knowledge and self-reflection is a necessity in order to be an authentic leader. Authenticity – next to emotional intelligence – is a key value in the characteristics of a future leader.
Bottom line: What will be your Timbuktu experience?
by Maarten Declercq on November 4, 2009
Building a base of trust is a key attribute of all good and effective human relations. When people interact on a regular basis knowing what to expect from each other is a really important asset. But that is not nearly enough. When people have built a base of trust between each other they will also give each other the necessary emotional space. This space allows people to put really put their hearts into something great and big things can florish.
In order to built this positive emotional bank account people need to open themselves up. In the short run this puts you in a vulnerable position. You feel like you can be exploited. In practice this proves to be true only in the minority of human relations. In the long run it pays off big time because mutual understanding and trust is what people value above all.
Bottom line: When trust comes first, trust will thrust you forward.
by Maarten Declercq on November 4, 2009
I believe that your self-confidence gets a boost when you have the combination of two factors:
- Belief: you truly have to believe what you are talking about. By being really convinced about the principles that support your behaviour you provide yourself with a solid basis to gain trust from other people
- Passion: when you are really passionate about what you do, your are willing to go the extra mile. You are willing to investigate deeper, to communicate harder, to repeat more often. Passion brings self esteem and self-confidence.
Bottom line: principled belief and actioned passion can make a big difference.
by Maarten Declercq on November 3, 2009
As from the beginning of 2010 I am moving to Mumbai, India. What is the reason I am moving there? I am going to do a business development project for a French/Belgian cosmetics company called Dermo Expert. My main professional aim is to launch their products in India and Middle-East. In order to do this challenging project I receive support from the Prince Albert Fund. The Prince Albert Fund helps talented Belgian professionals acquire experience in conducting international projects by offering financial support for a project abroad through a company established in Belgium.
Useless to say that the business part of this mission is very important. I am sure I am going to learn a lot about doing business in a foreign country. I will also learn to bootstrap my resources as this is a grassroots project starting from scratch. The entrepreneurial mind in me will definitively have the opportunity to explore and prove its worth. Further, I will learn about the health care and cosmetics industry. For all this reasons I deeply believe that this project abroad will provide an unlimited amount of professional growth.
Nevertheless, the project also offers huge possibilities for personal growth. The main thing I think about is the unavoidable paradigm shift I will encounter. Needless to say that my current perceptions where I adhere to will be thoroughly challenged. The difference between an Indian and European mindset is staggering. In order to be successful in the human relationships I will develop there, I have to open myself up. I have to put myself in a vulnerable place and really try to listen to people and investigate the beliefs and principles that are behind their doings and expressions. By doing this it will be possible to learn to truly appreciate the Indian culture. This experience will certainly have a big impact on my frame of mind and my beliefs and principles.
I believe that this expat project will have a profound impact on different sides of my life. First, It will be a huge leap in my professional growth. Second, It will literally be a mind blowing experience because it will challenge my current perception of the world.
Bottom line: I keep you further posted about my experiences
by Maarten Declercq on November 2, 2009
Finding balance in life is a challenging task. Considering the alarming news about the number of burn-outs and stress related problems, it seems like it is a wide-spread issue. The fact that a lot of people are struggling with finding a good balance in their lives makes me wonder what you can do about it.
The number of publications, books and blog posts about this issue is staggering. The number of different types of advice rank up to the same height. All in all, there is one main cause for stress related problems. In my opinion people commit theirselves way to much. People barely can cope with the issues that come up everyday. Most people take on everything. Just a little bit more won’t do harm will it?
The fact that you commit yourself too much makes that everyday clutter fills your day every day. In the daily turmoil it is hard to think about why your are doing it all for in the end. Occupied by the short term you loose sight on the long term. The long term being: your physical health and your life goals. Yes, I believe that you do not only do harm to yourself physically (e.g. heart related problems). You also fail to ensure you are on the right track in your life.
How to solve this? In my opinion it is quite simple: JUST SAY NO! Say no to all the things that only suck the life out of you. A lot of people are afraid to say no when somebody ask them help or a favour. In fact, what do you think is better: doing a random job on fifty things or doing a really superb job on twenty things. A nice consequence is that in the end you get to do more of what you really like. Value that.
PS: Don’t mistake saying NO with letting good stuff pass by. In order to grow you need to take on new challenging projects. There is always a trade-off between pay-off and risk. In that way you really have to be YES-man.
Bottom line: say NO when it sucks the life out of you.
by Maarten Declercq on October 31, 2009
Effectively reaching your target audience is one of the main challenges in a lot of fields. You encounter it as a writer, as a businessman, as a doctor and so on. So I will keep this one short. Do you feel at home here on this blog?
Bottom line: share your thoughts!
by Maarten Declercq on October 30, 2009
Last night I attended a seminar in Brussels. I could not find a parking spot nearby so I had to quite a walk. I was quite late when the seminar ended. During that time there was still a lot of activity in the city but I felt like the city was preparing itself for a quiet night. Considering the situation this was the perfect situation for the kind of thought that you also get when your are travelling by train.
Brussels is a city I am not that familiar with. I have to admit that in fact I am not that crazy about the city. But that night suddenly the feeling hit me that everything around me was ultimately placed there by another person. At the same time I was amidst all the anonymity of a big city and sourrended by a maximum of human effort. Instead of the prevailing perception of a city being technological and without a spirit I perceived the city as being organic and with a soul. It is really strange to describe the feeling I had at that moment. I certainly put a smile on my face and it was the best moment of my day. I hope to have the same experience with other cities.
Bottom line: let the town you live in surprise you.
by Maarten Declercq on October 28, 2009
In my opinion there is a reason for the things that happen around us. Let me explain in what sense. I don’t mean that everything is well thought over. There is not a big plan or rationale behind everything. Humans are emotional and irrational beings remember. I mean it rather like this.
For every consequence there has to be a cause. A hippopotamus does not end up high up in the lamppost alone. There needs to be support in order to do that. Let me give an example. Bush did not get elected as president just by handing in a candidature. Bush needed people to vote for him in order to get elected president. There was a need in society that
Bottom line: next time you see your imaginary hippopotamus in the lamppost think about how it ended up there.
by Maarten Declercq on October 27, 2009
Getting in touch with a new culture always puts pressure on yourself. Uncommon reactions and behaviour makes you reflect on your own frame of mind. In that way it can shake your own mindset upside down. Let me give a practical example. I have read a lot about the cultural redtape in India. In the magnificent book Maximum City from Seketu Mehta he explicitly describes India as the land of the NO. There is a local culture that inhibits that anything can be done but with perseverance a thousand NO’s ultimately change to YES. The key lies in the fact to keep asking.
I absorbed that observation. But I know, theory remains theory. However, today things got real. I had to call for a favour. There had already been some written discussion and things looked good. We had a phone call planned. With big expectations a dialed the number and the phone got picked up. I thought things were already somehow arranged but that was only my personal interpretation. I had to go to all the details again and had to convince the other party. I repeatedly ran into a big “NO, that’s not possible”. On that moment, the quote from the book appeared in my mind. I have got to hang on, I thought. I listened to the objections of the person and finally succeeded in getting some trust. I just kept asking gently and finally got to the grounds where I wanted to be. Afterwards both of us were really satisfied.
Bottom line: Hang in there and take the punches. Good things come to those who persevere.
by Maarten Declercq on October 9, 2009
There is common agreement on the fact that changes happen all the time. In fact, “change is the only constant” as I may quote Confucious. There is a lot of things that can be said about this topic and change is probably a topic that will appear in my blog several times. This time I chose to highlight one specific element.
It is about how people cope with change and the fact that we all struggle with it. When we take this matter to big organisations we see that people from all over hierarchical ladder are affected by it. Even the people high up in the ranks of the organisation really do not have a clue. The best guess they can make is to do a thorough consultation of the issues people have in the organisation and of the challenges that probably lie ahead. In my opinion, this kind of consultation rounds are plain necessary in order to make justifiable strategic decisions. As a supplementary effect the people that are being asked for advice feel appreciated for their contribution.
Bottom line: calmly look in the face of change
by Maarten Declercq on October 8, 2009
Sometimes you just know that people try to fool you. You are completely aware of the situation on hand and you have all the information but still the other person is openly saying something else. When that person is trying to defend his behaviour with this false information you have really caught him stealing.
How to react in that kind of situations? Well, it is a tough choice. You can choose to openly discuss it and break open his lies in public. This will make the person realize that you have got the edge on him and he will probably be more discrete in future situations. Another option is to choose not to give any hint. You let him go but you have come to know that you cannot trust him. In future situations, you will see his scams from far away.
As long as this person does not attack you in person the second option is viable. But in general I believe that openly reacting to his words is the best option. I believe that you should not tolerate behaviour like this towards yourself.
Bottom line: speak up!
by Maarten Declercq on October 7, 2009
It is hard to find a good balance between being a hard brainer and a soft brainer. Hard brainers tend to attribute everything to the hard-wiredness of the left brain hemisphere. Soft brainers are undoubted free flowing and artistic and rely on the right brain hemisphere.
When in left brain mode all your decisions are consciously made (at least you think that it is so). When in right brain mode you loosen up and you open yourself for new experiences. In a way right brain thinking is more holistic en purposefull. It is a way of thinking that people tend to deny.
After your next lunch. Take a comfortable seat and let your mind flow freely. Just when you do not expect it you probably will have found great new insights.
Bottom line: Gaze into the distance for one time
by Maarten Declercq on October 6, 2009
Imagine yourself at one point and far ahead of you a beacon flashing white light. This beacon is your destination and it is absolutely obvious where it is. The way to reach it is like an untapped mountain hill dressed with virgin snow. Thus, it is very unclear. This is not a problem of goal setting but rather a problem of execution. How do you embarque on your mission?
One possible way is to make a concrete plan of all the steps that you have to undertake in order to reach your goal. You model yourself your way to the beacon of light. You set it up beforehand when you try to imagine all the roadblocks you will encounter. You leave with a plan in your hand towards your destination. For sure, plans made are plans lost: things that actually will happen will differ from the things you have thought of before. You will be able to reach your goal but unless you are able to adapt yourself to a changing situation it will be worth a hard deal.
Another possible way is to leave immediately for the open sea and directly sniff the stuff that is happening out there. Your impressions will be more accurate and you will leave with a head start. Without the planning effort situations won’t be that clear to interpret the right way. So, it’s possible that sometimes you rather are swinging around without direction than moving ahead to your goal. The trip will be a thrill and a great learning experience.
In my opinion neither option has always to be chosen the first. Both have advantages and disadvantages. By taking the first route, the rout of making a model, you can make things very clear. But on the other hand it can inhibit adaptation to new situations. It involves planning and therefore these plans can remain only words. This approach is very alive in big corporate cultures where the gathering of meetings is excessively used.
By taking the other route, things are not that clear at all. This approach can be plainly stupid. Going somewhere without knowing how is not always a good approach. It can also be proof of a lack of commitment. On the other hand it can be such a learning experience that I would say: for the sake of it, just try it.
Bottom line: If you try, try hard. If you plan, prepare to adapt
by Maarten Declercq on September 3, 2009
I need not to say that the choice for stability is man’s second nature. We all like new things but as long at is containable. With time we build up things that we need to take care of like a house, mortgage, children and the list goes on. I am not making a judgment on this it is only that I don’t feel obliged to follow that route (yet).
Whenever you make a decision that is border crossing you can see the admiration in the eyes of people that sometimes feel stuck to the debt they owe. It is like is gives them a glance on things that might have been. A decision they did not pull through a long time ago and is now even less easy to make.
Bottom line: make sure that you don’t start starting into the distance when somebody reminds you of things you missed out in the past.
by Maarten Declercq on September 2, 2009
When I was a kid I always felt somewhere in between. When I was playing in one playground I did not really fit in because I was to much like those other kids playing in another neighbourhood. Then when I went playing in the other playground with those other kids I did not really fit in neither. Yes, because I was too much like the ones I mentioned before. I had really good friends in all the playgrounds I went and every time I turned up we all enjoyed the time together. So that is not the issue. I think the interest to search for something unknown and new was there. Those days I really did not think about it but it appears to me that I wanted to share the best of several “worlds” to my friends.
I was a member of two different scouts groups at the same time. That too gave rise to a lot of questions why I was into that other group. I guess I just wanted to enjoy the different ambiance in the groups. I tried lots of different sports (I stuck with athletics forever though) because I liked learning the techniques and the different kinds of activities.
During my years at university I really enjoyed getting a scientific education but at the same time I went to language courses during the evenings. I thought there is more than just left brain or right brain (not or but and). I had the luck to have the opportunity to go to study abroad for a longer period. I guess that really triggered my further decisions to gain international contacts. I got active in an international student organisation and got to know great people from all over Europe.
During my first professional experience I had the opportunity to develop a team. I am really humble in saying that I was a full-time learning experience. The urge to interact with people from other departments and to help the organisation grow did stick with me. I was the lighting match of an initiative that looks to the future of youngster in the organisation and the future of the organisation itself. The will to do a project abroad lingered though. Finally I got the opportunity I had worked for so hard. I am able to go on a mission in India and Middle East for at least a year. A year of pure entrepreneurship and personal challenges. I can say I am up to it even though I know I will encounter some humps along the road.
That is why I feel so good today. Really! So forgive me that I overused the “I” word in this post.
Bottom line: Just go for it!
by Maarten Declercq on September 1, 2009
There are those defining moment when you make yourself a deal: do this by then or else DIE. Those cutthroat promises put can put you in a nasty situation. They can cause you to feel like loosing grip on things. However those same promises make things happen and assure getting grip on things.
Bottom line: Make those cutthroat deals with yourself
by Maarten Declercq on August 31, 2009
It can happen to anyone. Before your day has been quite average but that suddenly changes into turmoil. Something big comes up and is trumpeting like a big parade on carnival’s day. The catch is that you need someone else to provide you a BIG favour in order to make it happen. How do you tackle it?
It is a possibility just to let it slide and let it pass by. You can just sit and not make it happen. The apparent advantage is that you don’t have to ask someone to do you a big favour. Your relationship with the person remains unhassled and you don’t make a fool out of yourself.
Another possibility is to grab your chances and take the blunt decision to ask someone to you a big favour. Psychologically it is a big hurdle to come over. How will the person react and will we keep a good relationship in the future. In my opinion, when you even consider about even having a relationship with that person asking a favour to someone from time to time is a must. The person you ask may even be flattered that you require his help. So it’s a double win: you try your chances and in the long run it will benefit your relationship with that person.
Bottom line: It is a classic. A NO you already have but a YES you can get. Go out and try your chances!
by Maarten Declercq on August 28, 2009
Having to keep your mouth shut about something and not talk about it or mention it to your peers can create a strangling effect on your thinking in the long run. It is quite normal to have your own secrets, that’s not what I am talking about. The difficulty lies not in keeping some trivial facts to yourself but lies rather in keeping stuff to yourself that can shake the ground of your peers. Mostly you’re very involved in these situations because you are for instance very excited about it. Your involvement ensures that those yet unspoken thoughts come up your throat urging you to scream them out. The physical feeling of really having to swallow them down again is a reality. Also, on a mental stage, it really gets to you. These kind of knowledge is always in the back of your mind. It comes up playing in every situation you encounter. In the long run some situation will provoke a confession. It can be on an approprate time or premature. If it is already OK to talk about the issue no harm is done. If it is still premature make sure that you take the proper further steps.
Bottom line: Truth always finds a way out
